


when days seem to fly

by dotdotmoon



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Bisexuality, Grief/Mourning, Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, MAMA Era Powers (EXO), Non-Linear Narrative, Non-Romantic Marriage, Rings, Serial Monogamy, an unreasonably wild population of em dashes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:08:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26645011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dotdotmoon/pseuds/dotdotmoon
Summary: A life told through rings: the two times Jongdae picked a ring, the one time he refused to, the one ring he’d been given as a parting gift, the one he’d had stolen, and one that never was.jongdae-centric mama powers au (jongdae does not die)
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongdae | Chen, Kim Jongdae | Chen & Oh Sehun, Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Jongin | Kai, Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Junmyeon | Suho
Kudos: 5





	when days seem to fly

**Author's Note:**

> title from "[love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aM85ygxYbI)" from disney's robin hood (1973) soundtrack
> 
> this is dramatic as hell, i’m sorry ;;  
> originally written for the jongdae-centric round of tinysparks (hence the non-linear narrative) but a friend helpfully advised me to extend this as i had too many notes left. i was watching a kat blaque video this morning that reminded me to finish this fic.
> 
> extended content notes  
> —skip this if you don’t like spoilers—  
> regarding the major character death tag: this fic covers a timespan of about twenty or thirty years, so there is character death. one of jongdae's boyfriends (junmyeon) dies, and while the cause of death is not explicit and natural, it is a deeply traumatic experience (institutionalised heterosexism occurs alongside it, junmyeon’s family is not supportive either) for jongdae and informs his decisions in a future relationship.

“Should we be sitting on the porch during a thunderstorm?” Sehun asks.

“Other people shouldn’t,” Jongdae says and watches him relax against the house wall.

“The most exciting thing about this is getting to hold your hand,” Sehun notes.  
  
Jongdae’s laugh is drowned out by a crack of thunder that sends the floorboards of the porch rumbling. “Anytime,” he tells Sehun. He tightens his hold, feels their rings slide against each other, his love for Sehun as bright as lightning.

The marriage certificate in Jongdae's backpack weighs nothing, not even an ounce of triumph. Knowing their names on it is an alien feeling. Jongdae never wanted to get married, couldn't—not everyone, not before the news broke. Jongdae had asked Sehun first.  
  
Kyungsoo halts him in front of the shop with a nudge of his elbow. "Pick a ring for me.”  
  
Jongdae gives the display a brief look, takes in the hesitance Kyungsoo tries to mask as cheerfulness, his hands hidden away from the cold in his coat pockets.  
  
This isn’t a yielding to tradition he wants for Kyungsoo. This is nothing Jongdae needs. "Let me buy you a knife instead," Jongdae says.

The list of things Jongdae's stolen in his life is short. All the hearts he’s received undemanded, he’s given back, sometimes forcefully.  
  
On the list, there’s a lipstick, books he borrowed and never returned, candy and kids’ magazines for Sehun neither could afford that year.  
  
Jongin's time is on it, twice. Junmyeon's ring is on it, too, Jongin’s ring a gift he couldn’t reject. He brushes a fingertip over the three piercings in his left ear, on their insides the engraved words he knows by heart—split in three like the ring that used to sit on Junmyeon’s finger.

"You should get a new ring," Kyungsoo says.  
  
Jongdae wonders when he’d given him reason to see him as a responsible adult. "Not sure I can get an appointment," he replies.  
  
"I can't stay with you forever, I still pay rent," Kyungsoo tells him, but he turns to Jongdae, rests an arm around his waist, his forehead on Jongdae's shoulder. Kyungsoo's unringed power wraps around Jongdae's without delay, dimming, soothing what pours through the cracks.  
  
Jongdae relents. "I'll call tomorrow."

“Only family members and spouses,” they tell Jongdae, “legally recognised spouses,” they add when he opens his mouth to object, to lie, to—  
  
It’s the first time he stands in Junmyeon’s shoes, suffers the violent uncovering, the crater of helplessness. He barely sleeps, barely rests. He’s driven to pray, aimless jumbles of barely words, barely thoughts, repetitive, until he has nothing left to demand, until a phone call pierces through.  
  
He sits and hears himself being called Junmyeon’s acquaintance, knows they saw—his texts Junmyeon couldn’t bring himself to delete. He sits as they talk of the cremation, the urn sitting in a columbarium somewhere, not for him to know, as they command gratitude for informing him at all, and he has no tears for the twofold violence that tore Junmyeon away.  
  
He prays, with a diligence that used to be pretend.  
  
He comes to with Jongin kneeling on their—his kitchen table. Not Junmyeon, never again Junmyeon. The prayer he directs at Jongin is heard, and when Jongin returns with the ring, teary-eyed, found among Junmyeon’s father’s jewellery, tears of fury tear their way down his cheeks. He knew, and still. He doesn’t want to believe they would not leave the ring to his ashes, but it sits in his hand, heavy as an ocean.  
  
He keeps none of Jongin’s words, mind full of the ring, and after their farewell, he pulls off his own, flings it at the wall, still, still can’t understand Junmyeon’s absence as permanent, thinks of asking Jongin to steal the urn too to piece together the ashes into the person he was loved by. He can’t understand, not before he slips on Junmyeon’s ring, feels the crackle as his power chases all that’s left of him, water, water, water—feels the pipes burst inside the walls.

"It's all the love we poured into you," his guardian told him earlier. Jongdae knows they're joking, but it makes him feel like a cactus so well-cared for it cannot help but bloom—in stranger, blander ways than the strawflower glued on.  
  
"That one," Jongdae says. He's fourteen, and the ring that will seal his power to him is a thin black band of rounded stone that warms to his touch.  
  
"You don't have to pick the cheapest one," his guardian says.  
  
Jongdae knows their frown is directed at their wallet, not him. Jongdae insists.

"Be free," Jongdae tells him. It’s not his to decide but Jongin’s to hear.  
  
Jongin nods, gaze tender and so warm, his hands in Jongdae’s, unbothered by uncertainty. There’s a glow to him, a second skin below, something Jongdae remembers from before he’d gotten his own ring, pulling tighter as his power bloomed, unruly, unschooled—but Jongin’s grows around him, into a life of its own. Jongdae’s learned he’s not to be tamed by one place in one time, and he’d rather have his own heart crack than trap and break Jongin’s.  
  
“Thank you,” Jongin says, severing Jongdae’s clammy hold on him as he raises the hand with the ring.  
  
Jongin's last kiss loses warmth against his mouth but his smile does not as Jongdae slowly pulls the ring off Jongin's hand. A flicker, and barely a heartbeat later, with no farewell, Jongdae learns his absence anew.

"Take better care of yourself. Promise?"  
  
"Promise," Jongdae says as he twists the ring of woven vines around Junmyeon's finger, not content until the blossom in the middle sits upright, next to the broad silver ring, newly engraved. _Love lasts._ He feels the words as if pressed against his own skin, words he pressed into Junmyeon’s skin over and over. He looks up at Junmyeon, expecting the fondness in his eyes and still finding himself pulled under.  
  
One smile later, a firefly settles in on the blossom, matching Junmyeon’s glow.

The first crack is so slight, Jongdae doesn't notice until he idly spins the ring on his finger, gets it caught on a hair. He’s felt—off, awry for weeks. Along with the knowledge, resignation settles, deep.

"This one?" Jongdae says.  
  
Sehun examines the ring, a copper band against a gold one. He pretends to consider others, but Jongdae’s known him for almost three decades, knows they've found it.  
They leave the box behind, the ring warming between Jongdae's fingers, until Sehun pulls him into the shade of an old tree, holds out his hand, palm down.  
  
"Your guardian should do this," Jongdae says as he slips the ring onto Sehun's finger, their smiles one more secret shared between them.

"I'm Junmyeon," Junmyeon says.  
  
Jongdae almost rolls his eyes at him. He knows, they've met before—he's still miffed by how shaken up their first encounter, their first conversation late into the night left him. Then he recalls what followed one of the warmest kisses he'd had—Junmyeon's keeping up appearances.  
  
There's nothing improper about being gay around kids, Jongdae thinks, but there’s nothing wrong with keeping private about it either. It's not a burden to him, and would shoulder Junmyeon’s as well if he could. It’s his third time at the youth camp, and he’s the counsellor with the rainbow button, big as a child’s palm.  
  
"Jongdae," he tells him and finds a cheeky smile telling him _I know_.

Kyungsoo doesn't own a ring, Jongdae finds out the morning after the first night he's spent in Kyungsoo's bed. He brews coffee, brushes teeth, warms rice, kisses Kyungsoo’s cheeks good morning. He knows better than to ask.

"Kiss me again," Jongin asks him this time.  
  
"I spent four months kissing other men to hear you say that," Jongdae tells him.  
  
Jongin just smiles, tightens his hold around Jongdae. It’s a boulder off his soul, that he’s not too late, that Jongin had—not waited, but awaited.  
  
He’d kissed one boy as a child, and it took him two decades to comprehend—it wasn’t boys, he just hadn’t liked kissing Sehun. Jongin, on the other hand—a laugh that had rattled him into a daze, a smile like sunshine he’d wanted to feel against his own, again and again.  
  
This, Jongdae thinks, could be good. He’s bi, and Jongin is not an experiment. This, he thinks, should last.

**Author's Note:**

> their powers in this are barely powers, but they’re up for mischief if you let them run wild. the rings make sure they stick to their owners. jongin’s teleportation power is a rare exception, so consuming jongin chose to give in.
> 
> i hope this wasn't too messy... thank you for reading!! please do let me know how it made you feel ;;;
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dotdotmoon) | [cc](http://curiouscat.me/dotdotmoon) | [listography](https://listography.com/dotdotmoon) (up-to-date wip list)


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